SweetHeart
by NatzAndClaudz
Summary: Why is Voldemort proclaiming his love for Harry via howlers? Why does Narcissa have eyes for Peter Pettigrew? Why the hell is Lucius Malfoy pursuing a career in rat termination? There is only one word, love...and some new products from Fred and George.


**This story is purely for humor purposes and we would like to say that love at first bite does not involve anything to do with vampires, just lollies.**

**Chapter 1: Love at First Bite**

Fred and George were laughing. This was going to be awesome. The plan, the master plan. They had replaced their old first year testers and decided to to just test it out on the latest Honeydukes customers.

In other words they had replaced all the sweets in Honeydukes with products from Weasley's Wizard Wheeze.

This was going to be great.

They were laughing so hard that they didn't see a dark bat-like man gliding out of Honeydukes with his robes billowing in the wind and large boxes of sweets.

* * *

><p><strong>Snape's POV<strong>

Snape put on his favourite identical black robe and added some special hair oil that he was told by a great hair designer, would get away all the grease in his hair.

He picked up his boxes of lollies that were once pink but now painted black which for for snack's at the death eaters meeting that Voldemort had requested.

He then apparated to just outside the meeting area and walked the rest of the way to the lavish front door with old and wrecked cupids. A lot of death eaters had the tempt of shooting avada kedavra at those cupids and it was obvious that nobody stopped them with the debris of marble along the path.

He made his way inside and the room was mysteriously full. He took his seat and it occured to him there was an empty seat next to Narcissa, Snape realized that Lucius was oddly the one to be missing from the meeting. Before Snape could ponder this any longer, Voldemort walked in at a fast and graceful pace.

He spent about ten minutes torturing a couple of death eaters in the room and then telling them how worthless they all were. He probably would've continued for 6 hours if he hadn't spotted the slick black lolly box. "Did you think this was a tea party, Severus?" Voldemort asked with his cruel drawl.

"You were the one who asked for them," Snape pointed out curtly. He hastily added "master" after realizing what he had done.

Voldemort glared at Snape icily. "I think you misheard Severus, I asked for snacks. In other words, NOT PETTY DOLL HOUSE SWEETS!"

Th death eaters around the table shrank back in their chairs and Snape himself flinched even though they were far used to it.

"Would you like to try one my lord?" Snape asked.

"I think that be best suited," Voldemort agreed. Snape opened the box and offered Voldemort a lolly which he placed in front of his seating position. He then placed it on the table where death eaters dived to get lollies, Wormtail reached out to grab one when he caught Voldemort's death glare and squeaked before retreating back to him seat.

None of the death eaters moved to take one after they saw what he did to Wormtail.

Voldemort placed the neatly wrapped sweet before him on the table. "Doesn't anybody else want one?" he questioned, this didn't come out kindly. He said it if he were giving an order for them to eat the sweets.

Bellatrix reached greedily for the treats but before she could get ten centimeters closer, a voice rang out.

"Crucio!"

Bellatrix fell to the ground screaming. Voldemort rested his wand, a few death eaters eyed it nervously. Bellatrix was panting like a dog after the attack, Voldemort rolled his eyes at her. "You're too fat," he snapped. "You could be a pregnant woman."

A smirk rose onto Snape's face.

Narciss was gazing worriedly at Bellatrix's form on the ground, her hands twitched in the temptation to help her.

Voldemort saw this but misinterpreted her twitching hands, "Go on and take one, Narcissa."

Narcissa bit down on her lip. "No thank you, I'd rather not."

A scowl grew on the man with no nose. "Eat it," he growled.

Narcissa hesitated. "Err..."

"EAT IT!" Voldemort yelled. Again a round of flinches occurred, their ears would be ringing as they tried to get sleep after the meeting.

Narcissa quickly snatched a lolly from the tray and hid it in her pocket.

Voldemort was satisfied, he unwrapped the black lolly and popped it into his mouth. It tasted a bit like paint but he was satisfied. "Any news about Potter?" he questioned whilst munching.

In response, a copy of the Daily Prophet was shoved in his face. On the front cover was the Boy Who Lived in the bath, he turned around and screamed before diving underneath the water.

A strange glint appeared in Voldemort's eyes. "Beautiful," he muttered. His mind was filled with a whirlwind of emotions, "This meeting has to end." Voldemort had never wanted anything more, except maybe immortality.

When nobody made a move, he slammed his hand down on the Daily Prophet. He felt oddly regretful at the fact he had slapped the face of Harry on the paper in the face. He picked up his wand, as the death eaters began to file out in a hurry. Voldemort hexed the rear ends of those who were to slow.

Voldemort then picked up the news paper again and let out a whimsical sigh.

Peter, Narcissa and Bellatrix were in the next room. Peter was giving himself a butt massage to the utter disgust of the two sisters, they made sure to pretend he didn't exist.

"Are you sure you're okay, Bella?" Narcissa asked.

Bellatrix glared at her and shoved her onto the ground. "Are you okay, Cissy?" she asked in a high, sweet tone before laughing maniacally. She then strode out of the room, her black and emerald heels clacking against the floor.

Peter Pettigrew was sitting in the corner, muttering foul words against mouse traps and continuing the act of nursing his bum. Wormtail saw Narcissa hit the floor, not really caring he continued to fuss over himself. Then he remembered something, "You wouldn't happen to have that lolly still, would you?"

Narcissa rose to her feet as gracefully as possible, brushing the dust off her robes haughtily. She then began making a show out of putting the lolly in her mouth and chewing. Narcissa locked gazes with Pettigrew and felt hunger, a greedy smile rose to her lips as she observed Peter.

"Oh Petey, do you have a boo boo on your bummykins?" she asked. Narcissa puckered her face sympathetically and reached out for him.

Wormtail looked up in alarm. "What are you doing?" He got up and backed away slowly.

"Petey, why are you moving away from me? You know I would never hurt you, you're as adorable as new born kittens."

Peter started backing away faster until he hit a wall. He winced when his backside hit the wall.

"Need a bummy wummy massage, Petey?"

That was breaking point for Peter, he transformed into his rat form and scurried away. _For once I pity Lucius, _Peter thought.

**Thanks for reading.**

**Hope you enjoyed it and we love feedback.**

**-Natalie and Claudine**


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